if anybody still actually care

11 Jul


february is ending

27 Feb

complacency is one of the evilest form of evil. it makes you feel good, even when you are not. it deters self-improvement, and it develops contentment of current circumstances.

ladies and gentlemen, my AS trials is coming within a month and i should be freaking out right now. but i am not, that’s the biggest problem. the fact that i did not actually do very well in the previous semester test aggravates this situation. i have no idea right now, what i am doing in college. seriously.

i do not think i have enough time, i don’t know. in the back of my mind, there’s always this voice reminding me that, i do have a life to attend apart from studying. but the thing is, my life at the moment by right, IS studying. and i forget sometime, that i am only in the very beginning of my journey. now it seems like so much is going on when in fact, nothing is actually going on.

to tell you the truth, i am worried. but it worries me even more that i am not doing something about my worries. i feel sort of sick, really.

it’s what we do

20 Jan

good friends that keep each other awake on exam periods, albeit him studying and me whining. hehe. glad that i know you, arv!

this was during earlier college days, how i wish we’re still THAT rajin. shugan, edrea, aiman, kee en, mun, arv & su.

bonus, gabriel being funny. (:

i’m cool, we’re cool, right?

6 Dec

so yeh i pretty much screwed up my math test just now. did i feel bad? fucking terrible. uhuh that’s more like it. but yeh, i know. i kinda deserved it. maths is undeniably hard (at least for me), but i feel stupid for not trying hard enough. eurgh. and for the last couple of days i have been extra cranky to my friends/housemates due to this stress i’m having – sorry. pressure is definitely on. be it peer, parents (not much), or sponsor. whatever lah. what’s done is done.

physic’s up next; not that i’m optimistic, huh.

remember what you told me

21 Nov

that i won’t make it?

guess what, i’m on my way.

truth is like caffeine; it wakes you up

15 Nov

sometimes what you see on the surface is not always what you gonna get. deception is human nature ergo i shall not make a big deal out of it, i suppose. but most of the time, it is the truth that makes everything else a big fucking lie. yet they say everyone deserves a second chance, no? ahh let’s just be civil and have a cuppa while we ponder.



oh and you know what, i cried in class today.






and no one actually noticed.

the definitive guide to being me

31 Oct

warning, it’s really, REALLY hard. follow steps if and only if you have : number 1 – very high confidence; number two – extreme tolerance to shitty things.

here goes. don’t forget the warning aforementioned.

  1. have VERY good sarcasm, especially in terms of skills on making snarky, touché replies/comments.
  2. like cleanliness, but at the same time have a very high tolerance to dirty things. clogged drains? psssh. dirty filthy toilet? meh. a month’s undone dishes? you must be able to withstand scrubbing/cleaning very nasty stuff.
  3. you must secretly like attention, try SUBTLY. subtlety is key.
  4. you should be able to pull off that ‘i don’t give shit’ look, every time you need to use it.
  5. be VERY spontaneous. like buy a very expensive article of clothing without planning by borrowing your friends’ money to top up your cash.
  6. cook delicious food.
  7. have very high tolerance in holding in laughter.
  8. don’t whine.
  9. amaze yourself at least daily, if not hourly.
  10. do every homework, but just abit of everything.
  11. wear lot’s of graphic tees. colorful ones are better.
  12. be very hostile to people you don’t know. have cold shoulders, preferably near freezing point.
  13. look very unapproachable. maintain that cold stare. no, just don’t look at people. that’s easier.
  14. be yourself only when around your friends. close ones.
  15. but try not to be attached. and hate people who likes attaching to people.
  16. act cultured even if you’re not – read a book, go to plays, galleries etc.
  17. hate wannabes even if you’re one at times.
  18. like genuinely good people, even if they make you feel like an evil sinner, when a relative comparison is made.

and that’s pretty much it.