Archive | October, 2010

the definitive guide to being me

31 Oct

warning, it’s really, REALLY hard. follow steps if and only if you have : number 1 – very high confidence; number two – extreme tolerance to shitty things.

here goes. don’t forget the warning aforementioned.

  1. have VERY good sarcasm, especially in terms of skills on making snarky, touché replies/comments.
  2. like cleanliness, but at the same time have a very high tolerance to dirty things. clogged drains? psssh. dirty filthy toilet? meh. a month’s undone dishes? you must be able to withstand scrubbing/cleaning very nasty stuff.
  3. you must secretly like attention, try SUBTLY. subtlety is key.
  4. you should be able to pull off that ‘i don’t give shit’ look, every time you need to use it.
  5. be VERY spontaneous. like buy a very expensive article of clothing without planning by borrowing your friends’ money to top up your cash.
  6. cook delicious food.
  7. have very high tolerance in holding in laughter.
  8. don’t whine.
  9. amaze yourself at least daily, if not hourly.
  10. do every homework, but just abit of everything.
  11. wear lot’s of graphic tees. colorful ones are better.
  12. be very hostile to people you don’t know. have cold shoulders, preferably near freezing point.
  13. look very unapproachable. maintain that cold stare. no, just don’t look at people. that’s easier.
  14. be yourself only when around your friends. close ones.
  15. but try not to be attached. and hate people who likes attaching to people.
  16. act cultured even if you’re not – read a book, go to plays, galleries etc.
  17. hate wannabes even if you’re one at times.
  18. like genuinely good people, even if they make you feel like an evil sinner, when a relative comparison is made.

and that’s pretty much it.

it will never end

21 Oct

i am slowly returning to my old self.

alternative electronica, running, late lunches.

and i’m not convinced that’s it’s good.

do you ever feel like a plastic bag?

20 Oct

 

come on show ’em what your worth. (:

love yourself, ’cause i love moiself

18 Oct

cause at the end of the day – it’s back to just you, and yourself. today, for some reasons unknown – i feel amazing. i feel that i really really love myself and the fact that i never fail to amaze myself from time to time – is simply amazing! ok i’m sounding slightly narcissistic but wth.

reason’s for me to love myself –

  1. People and things will come and go in life. But I have myself for the rest of my life, and I will never be able to escape from myself, so it’s a good idea to get along well and establish a loving relationship with the person I will live with for the rest of my life.
  2. If I am loving myself and treating myself well, I am actually setting up boundaries of how much people around me can affect me, and people just won’t have the power to hurt myself. Because if I don’t hurt myself, why would I allow others to hurt, mistreat or abuse me?
  3. Loving myself means that I can be whoever I want, without having to meet any sort of ‘expectations’ set by others around me. I know what I deserve, and I respect my desires, needs and wants so I don’t simply settle for less.
  4. I come to a realization that if I love myself, I won’t need anything or anyone to fulfill my needs to make me happy. There’s simply no ‘gaps’ to be filled whereas when I am alone, or with people. In that way, I seek company of others because I want to share who I am, not because I am depend on others around me. (:
  5. Loving myself means that I’m taking responsibility of my own life and happiness. My decisions, choices, feelings, emotions, are mine and nobody else’s. My life is what I make of it; my relationships are what I make of them. There is no need to blame others for my pain or misery.
  6. When I love and respect the person I am, I’ll develop healthier relationships with others. I respect people around me better, they way that I wan them to respect me from who I am! (:

and with that, i conclude that nurturing self-love is one of the best thing one can do to oneself. as clichéd as this might sound, it’s true – love yourself before you love others! if i can do it, you can! (wow i sound like a motivator hahaha wtf)

15 Oct

stay put,

11 Oct


for that i know everytime sorrow and grief hits upon me – there are people people bearing pain 100 times more.

childhood

6 Oct


oh hai everyone. wow. i should be doing my physics revision now as the test is tomorrow, but i’m not. haih. my thoughts are incomprehensible at the mo. let’s try blogging it out. i feel incomplete for some reasons. i don’t know what i want.

or i think i know, but i could never get what i want. i want us to be closer, i want to talk, i want your interest and attention. what shit is this paragraph?

issue #2 – i lost my directions. i don’t know where i’m heading from here. i came to the realization that i am not (that) gifted in terms of academic achievements compared to people around me, thus leading me to conclude that i am unworthy of my own dreams. saddening much eh my life?

i go to college, learn (i think i learn), hooha here there, and back home. that’s practically what i do. come on, what kinda life is that? what is my purpose, i am still finding out. but i’m afraid my flashlight is running out of battery by the minute i’m typing this. i need someone to talk to, really. but i can’t find the right person to do so.

and what’s the most pathetic part, the person whom i use to tell all my problems is slowly becoming the problem. wait, i think she’s not my problem. i should not care actually, as per the fact that she does not care much about me either. make sense right? aaaaah life.

oh well, you know what they say about growing up, you tend to forget things along the way. and for me, perhaps i forgot how simple things can make me laugh out loud or smile all day. how i wish i could go back to the days when i was six and my biggest of problems was whether or not i had  enough lego to build a fort/robot.

little amiruddin, i miss you.