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the definitive guide to being me

31 Oct

warning, it’s really, REALLY hard. follow steps if and only if you have : number 1 – very high confidence; number two – extreme tolerance to shitty things.

here goes. don’t forget the warning aforementioned.

  1. have VERY good sarcasm, especially in terms of skills on making snarky, touché replies/comments.
  2. like cleanliness, but at the same time have a very high tolerance to dirty things. clogged drains? psssh. dirty filthy toilet? meh. a month’s undone dishes? you must be able to withstand scrubbing/cleaning very nasty stuff.
  3. you must secretly like attention, try SUBTLY. subtlety is key.
  4. you should be able to pull off that ‘i don’t give shit’ look, every time you need to use it.
  5. be VERY spontaneous. like buy a very expensive article of clothing without planning by borrowing your friends’ money to top up your cash.
  6. cook delicious food.
  7. have very high tolerance in holding in laughter.
  8. don’t whine.
  9. amaze yourself at least daily, if not hourly.
  10. do every homework, but just abit of everything.
  11. wear lot’s of graphic tees. colorful ones are better.
  12. be very hostile to people you don’t know. have cold shoulders, preferably near freezing point.
  13. look very unapproachable. maintain that cold stare. no, just don’t look at people. that’s easier.
  14. be yourself only when around your friends. close ones.
  15. but try not to be attached. and hate people who likes attaching to people.
  16. act cultured even if you’re not – read a book, go to plays, galleries etc.
  17. hate wannabes even if you’re one at times.
  18. like genuinely good people, even if they make you feel like an evil sinner, when a relative comparison is made.

and that’s pretty much it.